can i say it out loud now?

i really feel like breaking down.

plenty of works and task. so limited time and energy i have.

i really feel like going crazy. i feel like dying.

i have lotsa responsibility besides working.

even after work, when i came homes.. i still have many things to do and think about..

as i started to pile up all those and put it aside.

it became more and more. until this point i don think i can take it anymore

i really want to call One FM and say WA BEH TAHAN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.T

How was my day today? :)
basically i reached there early. i parked my car. and still got time to call ai lee and talk for few minutes. then i rest a while. looked into the mirror. wait and wait..
until 740am..
Ta Daaaa!!! it's time to walk into the company's premise.

the guard asked me to go straight to the reception. but.. hell... she was not there yet!
so i waited alone at the sofa. feel so lost.
then there came a girl, short hair with specs. her name is micasa. we got to know each other.
it's her first day too as management trainee but she is going to be in International Marketing Department while I am in Purchasing Department.

soon, the reception lady came, tell u something amazing about her.... she's a malay lady and yet she can speak mandarin wey!!! some more quite fluent de@@ :) "keng" *salute*

we were brought to a meeting room and wait and wait for Mae from HR department to brief us and also for orientation.
while waiting, there's this lady who used to work in this company before but quited, came in because she's going to join back the company. so basically she told us a bit of here or there regarding the company.
the boring PART!!! waiting.... and takes turn to meet Mae to discuss about some P&C stuff. and wait for instruction from HR Department Asst. Mgr is so so so time consuming and boring.. it makes me feel super duper sleepy.
and so are the other two girls. :)

Sooner or later, both of them were brought to their department one by one and just left me.
coz my manager is meeting up with his supplier.

By the time i went to purchasing department it was around 1120am. half day almost gone.
My manager assigned me to this lady named Ms. Heng.
she's nice so far. taught me a lot. friendly. and she makes me feel like she's like "ai lee's twin sister"
i duno which part or what makes me feel that. but somehow when i talk with her i think of AI LEE!!!!! :)
hope u are reading this CHONG AI LEE!

lunch! at 1pm, a guy named Jojo helped us "tapao" from canteen. the food is OKay. not bad.
work and work. filing!!!!! filing!!!! filing!!!
and a bit of preparing the invoice!
i am always not sure what is the document i m handling with. is that DO or PO or Inv? LOLX
confusing~~~
i typed wrong for the first time. but after that.... hahaha smart arse.. :p

Left office at 550pm and head back straight to bukit tinggi.
yeah~ managed to reach home at 645pm after stucked in the jam.
had my 10 minutes dinner. and went to work again.
this time as a teacher..
reached there just on time. and start teaching non stop.

10pm only reach home, mandi. settle all my stuff.
need to ask my sis return the graduation robes for me.

and I AM SUPER TIRED NOW!!!!

FRIENDS, FORGIVE ME IF I DONT REPLY UR MSG OR REPLY SUPER LATE. BECAUSE I FREAKING TIRED.
I WOKE UP AT 5AM TODAY. AND I FEEL SO SO LAGGY NOW. LOLx

feel so hungry but too lazy to cook.

oh ya!! after so long i didnt blog... this should be the longest post i ever posted... ROFL

do i love working? too early to give u the answer.
but i can assure u.. i dont like the "tired" part. hahahaha

p/s im too lazy to update about my convocation. wait till i get all my photos. then i will try make a post for it.

NIGHTS people!!! im gonna sleep early today~ :D

Browsing through my Facebook status I realized that I have been emotionally unstable recently especially after the incident.
and sad to say that, I still find it hard to control my emotions. I still cant control my act. I still tend to sms and asked for stupid request.
Maybe I rather make him hates me since he doesn't love me anymore.
Waking up today at my home, I don't feel happy. I see all the trouble and responsibility awaiting me.
I feel so tired when my mum grumble for don't know what reason.
I feel so tired when I wanted to turn on to someone I trust but I realize I couldn't do that.
I have no one I could trust.
I am not happy at all even I am home.
Singapore should be the choice, since I really don't feel like staying at home.
I am selfish.
I wanted to run away. I want to have my own life.
I know if i leave my hometown, I would have lost all my friends. I have to start all over again.
I am afraid to go there alone, I am afraid to be alone and lonely in a place which I barely know.
Nowadays, crying has been much more easier than smiling.
I can just cried and cried and cried but I find it hard to keep smiling.
I really wanted to get back my smile and my happiness.
Why it is so hard? Why do i looked so pathetic?
stupid girl.